Future.

Does the future scare You, Blog?
Like do You ever worry about what is to come?
Do You feel scared for what it may hold?
Are You uneasy if it may hurt or help You?

i feel like i am in the same perdicament.

i find myself struggling to be at peace about the future. i mean, i trust the Lord with all that is in me that He's got it all planned out, but i'm scared about what it is. if there is even an IT in my future! What if what the Lord wants me to do is work at Target for the rest of my life? What if He wants me to become a speaker? A preacher? A missionary? A pastor? A teacher? A counselor? i'm scared, Blog.

Being a senior in high school, i know every day when i wake up that i will be asked at least 5 times that day a few of the following,
"What are You doing after high school?"
"What college are You going to?"
"Are You going to college?"
"Do You know what You want to be?"
"Whatcha got planned for when You graduate?"

And when i respond,
"Nope. i don't know"

PEOPLE FREAK OUT! i mean seriously, people. i'm seventeen. Of course i've thought this stuff through. i'm not a bum who isn't going to college immediately after i graduate. And if i do attend a college, it's not going to be a university. More than likely it is going to be a community college. i'd rather not waste all of my money on a fancy-shmancy college when the Lord wants me to be a stay at home mom or wants me to go home with Him tomorrow in a car crash.
BUT NOOOOOOO.
They feel the need to lecture me on how i need to get my future mapped out, right here and right now. Or that i HAVE to go to college if i want to achieve well in life.

Well, sir/mam. You don't know what my future holds. You don't know my destiny. You don't know what the Lord has planned for my life. i didn't ask for Your imput or opinion (although, i appriciate it) so please save Your lectures on Your own kids and stop wasting my time because i've heard it all before.

For now, i'm living on a 6 month life plan. Right now, all i'm sure of is that i will work at Target until i save up enough money for college or to move out or to do the church internship. i don't know.

Only the Lord knows. And it's hard not knowing myself! i want to know what His will is. i want to know what is on His heart. i just want to know more and more and more and more and more until i know everything, but i won't know everything. it's hard.